just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
