I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
