looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just want to make out with him forever
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
