Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
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I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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