I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
