I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you told grandpa to call you daddy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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