I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
