Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
