My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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