puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
