You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
