did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
