I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
im holly from the hills drunk
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
