I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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