i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
