dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
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Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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