Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
