There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
