You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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