why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize