Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
