it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
