Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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