i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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