So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
