meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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