She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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