I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
