I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
