It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
