it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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