Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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