My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize