i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
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he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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