you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
