Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This baby is an asshole
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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