Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
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Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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