I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
