Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
