I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
