This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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