OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
