We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
