oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
