It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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