I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
