All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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