don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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