On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
