Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
