I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize