actually, I'm a sock model
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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