I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
