3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize