batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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