I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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