just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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