Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
