...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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