I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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