Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
