he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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