it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
