we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
