i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
