You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
