i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The air was thick with penises
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
